Dec 20, 2004-Arg!

Peter and I went to Toys R Us to get stuff for the group charity (the hospital?). We thought it would be bad but apparently if you are wandering the aisles with a pen and paper and a cart with $400 of toys in it, people steer clear of you. Especially when you cough and people can hear a death rattle in your lungs. I feel like an old lady. If this doesn't clear up soon I may call my doctor and see if she can squeeze me in on Christmas Eve morning. I get awful coughs but they don't usually hurt my chest this much and I feel like I have a cupful of water in my lungs. Not a good sign. I just want one Christmas where I'm not on medication or coming out of the hospital or sick. Is that oo much to ask? The good news is, at least if I have a lung infection I can justify leaving my mom's place really early. And maybe they'll all smoke in the other room. (I hope it warms up and they can smoke outside but I know my family and I could be dying of lung cancer, they would still insist that the smoke couldn't affect me.)

Ok, on to Sunday. Peter needed to go shopping for Christmas (just a few more things) and I needed a Kris Kringle gift so we got to Fairview mall 15 minutes after it opened and ran thorugh the place. We put our stuff in the trunk and went to see Ocean's Twelve at 1pm in the mall. So-so movie made infinitely worse by the idiots beside me. I did my usual put-the-coats-on-the-seat-beside-me to I could tell noisy looking people that I was saving a seat. But after 15 minutes of previews and 5 minutes into the movie, just when they're setting up the plot, this couple comes in and the woman decides she wants to sit in our row. Now I figure, ok, she wants to get to the middle of the row (we take end seats) where there are no less than 6 consecutive empty seats but, no, her greatest dream is to sit in the two seat spot between me and another couple. First she makes Peter and I stand there for more than 2 minutes while she decides if she really does want to sit there and then, just as we're giving up and sitting down she barrels in with three big shopping bags, smashing my shins as she passes. Then she sits two seats from me and leans over to ask me to remove my coat so her over six foot, more than 300 lb boyfriend can sit right beside me. And he noisily steps over the seat to sit down, first handing over another three large shopping bags that he was carrying. Then, as he's sitting (with his leg half into my foot space b/c he's got 6 bags in his space) he takes of his jacket, elbowing me several times, loudly apologizing each time, very nice of him, just stop elbowing me. THEN he spends ten minutes explaining the first movie to his girlfriend who apparently hadn't seen it (why are they here?!?!?) and then he talks to her in a a loud whisper every 30 seconds. It's during one of the few surprises at the beginning of the movie that I realize that he's already seen it. How, you ask? Let's say that someone gets shot (not that anyone does, it's just an example). Well, about 2 minutes before they get shot, big-guy tells his girlfriend to keep an eye on the action. Then 30 seconds before it happens he says "man, I LOVE this part", then about 10 seconds before it happens he announces to her, "look quick, he's about to get shot, can you believe it?". No, big-guy, we can't believe it. We cannot believe that you have taken your space-disrespecting girlfriend to the sequel of a movie that she has not seen. We cannot believe that you have seen it and want to see it again. We cannot believe that we are in this situation. And I don't particularly want to tell this human wall beside me (man, he was tall!) to please be quiet. I mean, you're an adult, shut your piehole! Finally, after an hour of this, Peter says the magic words, "I will buy you a present if you tell them to be quiet". Ok, I'll do it for a present (I got a lovely purse, you'll see it at the Christmas party). I ask them to keep quiet and, even thought he continues to explain the plot of the movie, at least Peter can't hear it anymore and I'm bored anyway so I start writing lists and planning my holiday in my head. I didn't miss much, the movie was kinda lame.

Anyway, we leave the theatre and I was going to stop at Bulk Barn before we left but I see the crowds and Peter and I go into defense mode. Just agree on an exit and get through the crowd as fast as possible. If you fall, too bad, nice knowing you. We get to the car and because it's negative 300C, we decide to let the car warm up for a couple of minutes. Excuse us for being safe. The guy waiting to get into our spot looks rabid! So we back out and are leaving when a car with two oldish asian women comes flying by us and head straight for our spot. The guy waiting for the spot honks and we lock our doors and HAVE to watch, we can't look away, as the asian ladies attempt to scoop the spot. The guy pulls the front of his car in front of the ladies' car to keep them from moving (and getting into the spot) and he gets out and bangs on their passenger window yelling something like "my spot, my spot" (it was heavily accented english, could have been " pie pot" but "my spot" made sense) until the ladies, frightened, drove away. Last we saw, dude had parked and was running into the store without a coat (we had a REALLY good spot, maybe ten cars from the door). I guess everyone is a little tense. Oooo, I almost for got the best part. I almost threw this little old Filipino lady across the bathroom. Right before we left, I went to the washroom. I'm in line, there's two halls of stalls, I'm at the far one, little lady in front of me. I guess she had friends in the other line, maybe 20 feet away. So a stall opens up that she should go to, instead she plants her feet apart, blocking off the hall and allowing no one to get past her, not even people leaving stalls, and shouts something to her friends. I'm right behind her and tap her on the shoulder saying, "there's a stall". She ignores me, 10 seconds of talking with her pals across the bathroom go by and another stall opens and I ask the lady to move. The third one opens a few seconds later and I try to get her attention to the empty stalls. She waves her hand in my face, sets her feet even wider (by this point there are three ladies who want to wash their hands who are stuck ont he other side of this lady) and I say, "Sorry, I'm going", I throw my weight into her (I knew I had hips for a reason), catch her off balance, she hits the wall (I have years of experience hip-checking my six-foot brother, a four foot nothing woman isn't a challenge) and looks stunned as I walk briskly by hoping that she doesn't come after me and bite my ankles or something. I really didn't mean to throw her like that but I was tired, cranky and ready to burst. When I got out, she was standing with her friends by the door and they got all quiet and looked all meanly at me when I washed my hands. And then moved out of my way as I laft the bathroom. Imagine, me, sweet little me, scaring little old ladies. I was quite proud. Usually I sit there and take it but after having a giant ruin my movie, there was no way that I was letting a midget make me wet myself. So be warning, I have hips and will not hesitate to use them. If I'm pushed far enough. I hope she has a nice bruise today.